maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
