i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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