Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
