watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he thought i was a dude.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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