would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
