the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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