Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
and you fell through a lawn chair
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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