Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
