i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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