It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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