Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
