Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
