Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Randomize
