So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
