my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
