What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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