Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
