I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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