Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
