your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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