Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
