I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
too bad you live with your parents still
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
