Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
