I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
