i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
