Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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