oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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