Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
