Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
How's work?
Spinning.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
