i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
