look no pants
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
