I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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