people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Dick very happy bro
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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