Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
