I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
