I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
the liver wants what the liver wants
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
