six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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