I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
