He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
