You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
