We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
