i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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