she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
