just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
