Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Your penis caused this!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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