you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
