Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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