You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
