If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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