She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
