Please don't use social media to get back at me.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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