do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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