That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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